Worship
Funerals
Funerals Give rest, O Christ, to your servant with your saints, You only are immortal, Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia. -Book of Common Prayer The
Episcopal Church has an absolutely beautiful burial liturgy, available
to everyone. It doesn't matter who they are, whether they were faithful
churchgoers or not. It doesn't matter how they died, it doesn't matter
how much money they had. All are given dignity. All are escorted out of
this world with beauty and grace. The
service itself is a celebration of the life of the one who died, while
still leaving space for grief and sorrow. We believe that all people
are a gift from our Creator, and all people are received into the arms
of our loving God when they die. That is why the church is decorated in
the traditional Easter white, and the priest wears white. The Paschal
candle lit at baptism is also lit at funerals, tying together the cycle
of life and death and life again. If
you would like to arrange for a funeral for someone, please contact the
Rev. Watkins. She will gently work with you to honor the life of the
one you loved in the most appropriate way. Perhaps that means a funeral
or memorial service at the church, at another location, or something
simple at the graveside or where cremains are distributed. It
is also an option to rent the meeting room at St Mary's if you wish to
hold a gathering for family and friends, but you think a church funeral
just doesn't feel appropriate. The room has comfortable sofas, much
natural light, and a small tea kitchen for providing simple
refreshments. Our facility is handicap accessible. For more information
on this possibility, contact the church office. There
was a time in the church's life when many women would work together
hosting funeral lunches, but for the most part those days are over. If
you are interested in hosting a luncheon after a funeral, you may call
in a caterer to the St Mary's facility. What often works much better is
hosting a luncheon at a local restaurant. Fees Most
people wonder, but are sensitive about asking, the costs for doing a
funeral. A donation is usually given to the priest who facilitates the
service, and another to the preacher if that is not the same person.
The amount is usually $200-$300 or so. The Rev. Watkins chooses to put
that donation into her discretionary account, which she is free to give
away to people in need or to cover an expense not in the church budget.
The church musician earns around $200, and if extra musicians or
soloists are needed they get paid something as well. Cleaning fees for
the church are usually $60. Typically the funeral home will ask these
questions, adjust for these expenses in what they charge, and then
write and distribute the checks to us. Most find that easier, but
writing checks directly to the church is fine as well. Advance Preparation Much
of the funeral planning can be done in advance, something that the Rev.
Watkins encourages. What she has come to understand is that a family
can develop much concern trying to put together a funeral that the
deceased would have liked. The family can struggle over music and
scripture readings and locations for burial. The instances when these
choices have already been made by the one who has died brings great
relief to the family and helps them in their grief. The
Rev. Watkins would be happy to join you for a cup of coffee, or meet
with you in her office, to help in advance funeral planning. Advance
preparation can be helpful in more than just funeral planning. Many
times families are placed in the situation of having to make life support
decisions for someone who has never told them what their wishes might
be. The angst this causes a family could be greatly diminished if they
had the assurance they were making the decision their loved one would
want them to make. The best way to communicate what your wishes might
be is by discussing it as an entire family. It is also advisable to
choose someone who will make those decisions legally, and to
communicate your choice with your whole family, preferably in writing. 'Aging
With Dignity' is an organization that publishes a booklet called '5
Wishes', which the Rev. Watkins has used with many people. Although these
conversations are never easy, this publication helps a great deal by
asking you to indicate: 1) Which person you want to make health care decisions for you when you can't make them. When
signed in front of witnesses, this serves as a legal document, a form
of 'living will'. You can obtain a copy of this booklet on the Aging
With Dignity website, or can have the church office send you one. When
completed, make some copies for your family members, especially the one
you've chosen to make decisions for you. Give a copy to Rev. Watkins,
and another to your primary physician. Conclusion We
hope this website has been helpful to you. For any other questions you
may have, or to speak with the Rev. Watkins about any of the things
mentioned here, please feel free to call. Most merciful God, whose wisdom is beyond our understanding: Deal graciously with (insert names) in their grief. Surround them with your love, that they may not be overwhelmed by their loss, but have confidence in your goodness, 
where sorrow and pain are no more, neither sighing,
but life everlasting.
the creator and maker of humankind;
and we are mortal, formed of the earth, and to earth shall we return.
For so did you ordain when you created me, saying,
"You are dust, and to dust you shall return."
All of us go down to the dust;
yet even at the grave we make our song:
2) the kind of medical treatment you want or don't want.
3) how comfortable you want to be.
4) how you want people to treat you.
5) what you want your loved ones to know.
and strength to meet the days to come;
through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.